I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
