Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
