I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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