That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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