question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
