Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
