he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Congratulations! We have a period
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Shame - the story of my life.
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