I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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