ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
