Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize