My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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