she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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