You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize