you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
