And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
