in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
