I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
