But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
