one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
