her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
