She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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