I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
