somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drake has all the answers
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
