I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
