He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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