did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
