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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  4.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I am going to be fat forever.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.

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• (+46): View more from Sweden

  Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

  (770): View more from Georgia

  We'll talk about it later...

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yes.

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• (718): View more from New York

  Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina

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