Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
