I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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