You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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