He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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