They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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