The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
