Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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