I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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