Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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