i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
