he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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