I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
