I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize