Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
