Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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