I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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