the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
