there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
