Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
