R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
