wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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