So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Drunk is not a location!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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