You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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