Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
