we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
