umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
