I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
