then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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