they need to just BURY HIM!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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