I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
