I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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