I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
