Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
