i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
